Fair. Balanced. American.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Who needs April Fools

When you've got stories like this:
Lawyers for Tiger Woods are reported to be trying to halt the sale of a series of sex toys which exploit the golfer's new-found reputation as a sex maniac. They include a 'Take Home Tiger Love Doll' and packages of 'wood cover' super-size condoms.

The items are for sale on the website of Pipedream Products, which advertises such handy products as "the world's first rotating vibrating cordless masturbator". In other words, this is NOT the John Lewis white goods department.

Probably the most offensive in the Tiger range - offensive to Woods and his family, at any rate - is the doll. "Just add air and this cocky champ will share his Major-winning wood with you," runs the promo.

Pipedream is advertising its Tiger products as being "available for a very limited time only" - and that's certainly the wish of the golfer's lawyers. The US gossip site TMZ.com has got hold of a lawyer's letter to Pipedream demanding the company stops selling the products, recalls all items that have already been distributed and then destroys or disposes of them "in a manner and at a time as directed by Tiger Woods".

Or, as TMZ put it neatly, "Tiger Woods' lawyer is trying to do something Tiger wasn't even able to do himself - keep the golfer's private parts out of random peoples' hands".

This isn't the first time lawyers have been called to deal with dodgy products in the wake of the Tiger Woods scandal. In February, we reported on the efforts of Joslyn James, one of his extramarital girlfriends, to halt the sale of a set of "mistress" golf balls - each ball decorated with the face of one of Tiger's conquests.
The advertising folks over at Pipedream Products had such an easy time coming up with golf-related sex puns, they just threw a whole bunch up there. He'll always be ready to play an extra hole or two! He'll show you his wood if you show him your hole! He's Got Major Wood! Their office brainstorming sessions must be a blast.

While the Japanese may have us beat in sheer technological innovation with Roxxxy the Sex Robot , nobody knows how to capitalize on stupid celebrity culture to make a buck like the good old U.S. of A. The folks over at Pipedream also offer inflatable sheep and a whole host of celebrity blow-up dolls, including J-Lo, Christina Aguilera and Paris Hilton. Also, they could be the first company to offer a presidential Barack Obama love-doll. Hail to the chief, indeed. other
Still more news, this time from the country that put the "Asian" in "Cablinasian."
A Bangkok restaurant promoting safe sex has created a replica statue of golfing star Tiger Woods - dressed in clothing made entirely from condoms.

Created by US food and wine author Barbara Hansen, the life-size mannequin is dressed in Nike brand attire all made of condoms.

The mannequin - standing next to a Christmas tree decorated with condoms - wears a pink shirt, orange slacks, yellow cap and shoes, and holds a rubber golf club.

A note is also attached to the statue’s belt buckle which reads: "Let’s do it Tiger".

The restaurant, called 'Cabbages & Condoms', was founded by Thailand's Population and Community Development Association in Bangkok in 1986.

It's signature dish is yam tung yang or condom salad, and proceeds from the restaurant's recipe book go to family planning, rural projects, environmental protection, water resource development, scholarship and HIV/AIDS education.

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