Fair. Balanced. American.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Liveblogging the finale

9:00 pm Nothing, nothing worth watching in the first hour. Kris Allen was watchable in his duet with Keith Urban, and the freak was kind of funny, now that he's admitted his act was comedy. But now the big guns are out. Allison plus Cyndi Lauper = class and sweetness. You know they voted for the Glambert.

9:04 Even the parents like both kids.

9:05 Oh no. Danny Gokey is singing a Lionel Richie song. That means Lionel is coming out. Where's the blind chick?

9:06 LIONEL! A truly underrated figure.

9:07 What a weird song. "I want to prepare your meals?" It is catchy, though.

9:08 The inveitable "All Night Long." And not far from the 1984 Olympic stadium. It would be all downhill from there.

9:09 Ruben's in the house.

9:13 So what does it mean that there's been no solo performance by Adam yet? Are they giving him his big performance in the second half because he didn't win or because he did?

9:17. "BETH!" That's nuts! And for those of you looking for gay subtext, Kiss frontman Gene Simmons dated Diana Ross. It's a great statement by Adam. Metal, after all, is the one place in rock music where musical theater is married to overwrought singing.

9:26 Carlos Santana?! Ah, the Clive Davis connection... you know, back from when he mattered, forty years ago.

9:31 Oh no. Steve Martin with Michael Sarver and the tattooed Mormon divorcée. This looks very ill-conceived.

9:32 Yet somehow Megan's freakishness makes it hard to look away.

9:39 "Do You Think I'm Sexy." So Rod Stewart is coming? Matt seems to have the right voice for this.

9:40 Ah, you can never go wrong with Rod's mandolin phase. Or "Maggie May." Has the median viewing age of this show gone from 40 to 55?

9:44 These horrid awards need to be in the first hour. Oh no.... It's Tatiana. Well, she was in a class by herself. And poor Ruben, who didn't realize the whole thing was staged. A bit more show-biz savvy might have rescued his stillborn musical career.

9:54 Ugh, Queen. They sucked even when Freddie Mercury was alive.

9:56 Final thoughts: Kris is by far the more musical of the two singers. Homophobia and red state intolerance may be the reason for his victory, but he's a nice guy, evidently gay friendly (at least in his rival's case). Adam will be a big star anyway. And let's face it, we're not going to buy any of these people's records anyway.

9:58 Where's Fantasia? I thought all the idols were supposed to perform this season.

9:59 Any estimates for when the show ends? I say quarter past: just enough to wreck another hour for the major networks during sweeps.

10:03 As expected, it's Kris. And lest we forget, it could have been Danny Gokey.

10:04 Awww, look at Allison and Adam. That's the future.

10:06 That's a first, the spouse appearing on stage.

10:18 Isn't it amazing how Danny Gokey just feels like an afterthought now? And that, surely, is Kris Allen's greatest contribution to the culture. Plus, musician that he is, he found the hook buried deep in the bowels of Kara's crappy song, something Adam couldn't do.

UPDATE: The Times' entertaining liveblog.

UPDATE #2: And Entertainment Weekly's.

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